January thoughts

My ability for self discipline has proven itself to be rather unreliable as of late.  I think I’ve determined that there needs to be some strong external force motivating me, and then I’ll be self-regulating, but absent that, no go.

Somehow, I got up every morning at 5am to go to swim practice in high school, and then for a quarter, did the same for crew.  Somehow, I actually trained for a marathon by myself.  The external factors? Coaches, and fear of death (or at best, crippling pain) due to lack of preparation.

Which means that while I’m not one for resolute anything,  the hubbub of new years do make me assess how my time has been spent (or slipped away) and if I like that or not.

• I don’t like that I spend a lot of time online, sleeping, and thinking.
• I’d like to spent more time outside, taking photos, cooking food, and reading. Building stuff, maybe.

For the first time in a while, I don’t feel like traveling at all.  Seems I may be headed to S. America (never been!) sometime in spring, but I’m oddly un-stoked.

In lieu of stoked-ness,  there’s this weird sluggish-restlessness curled up in my brain.   Maybe I’m still adjusting to being back.  Maybe it’s just cold outside (we know that can have a nasty effect).

Anyhow, my projects for the year are as follows:

• find a place to buy
• read more*
• create stuff (food or projects or journals. something.)

Ideally, you know, I’d exercise regularly, eat more healthy, blah blah.  But maybe the last two will help with those, and really – in absence of any external motivation

*Without buying a fancy new gizmo to help me do so.  Plenty in the libraries that Audrey hasn’t read yet.

(I’m back in New York for the second time this year already.  The first time was like the pic above, but this time I’ve got forty degree goodness going on.  Not bad, considering there’s a storm splooshing over San Francisco. )